More on Aurora

I don't know why this is affecting me so much, why I keep thinking about it. Partly it has to do with being relatively close. I've been to the mall there, though it's been years and the last time I was there I'm not even sure that theater was there.

The way I feel about the shooting has a lot to do with my age, though, I think. Many of those killed were five or ten years younger than I am. Fifteen years even. They were at an age where their job is exciting because they are learning new things and advancing. They were at an age where life in many ways is still an adventure.  At that age you feel like you are making progress each week, if not every day.

Now I am at an age just past that. Each day I'm making an effort to hold on to what I have. I roll out of bed, not for the prospect of something good happening, but to keep the bad things, the bills and failure at work, at bay. I made a joke to my wife that night: "Want to go see the midnight premiere of Batman?" It was a joke because we were both exhausted and I would have to be awake for work only a few hours after it ended. I know that some of those killed also had to be to work the next day. At least the one girl, the sports journalist, basically had a job interview the next day. Oh to be young again.