Unpacking series 1, episode 3, Regarding Fish on a Plane

So let's speak of books. First, one of my possessions I've come to prize most is my Amazon Kindle Paperwhite. I have pared down my library significantly. I still have boxes full of books and a couple bookshelves full, but only about a third of what I had. While I love the feel of a real book and being able to mark up pages, being able to have a library at hand is really incredible. It is especially useful if one is packing a bag of their prized possessions and loves books as much as I. Asking me what books I would save and what I would leave to burn is like, well... I'm not talented enough to work a Sophie's Choice joke in here. Let's just say it would be no simple decision.

I decided to include my old edition of Great Expectations as a representation of all the old books I have. It is in two volumes published by the New York Book Company in 1909. Not the oldest books I have, but Great Expectations is one of my favorite books.

I chose my Men's Devotional Bible, New International version from amongst the variety of Bibles I have. It is a good version and probable the most portable Bible I have. I have several Bibles that have more sentimental meaning and are definitely less portable including one that belonged to my grandfather. I have A LOT of Bibles. I'd do well to just use one of them. The Bible will always make my list of desert island books and not because I'm religious. It's just a really good read. There are plenty of the boring this-guy-begat-this-guy-who-begat-this-guy parts, but then there are really interesting parts like Samson just wiping out the Philistines or Daniel and the lions, Jesus and his parables, angels playing trumpets causing hail and fire mixed with blood to rain down upon earth, and the entire book of Leviticus with its craziness. The entire bibliography of Stephen King doesn't have so much imagination.

What the Buddha Taught is honestly a little closer to teaching what I consider my religion. Really, the lessons I've come to through it were probably the same as what Jesus was trying to teach me as a child. It's a straightforward look at Buddhism and its core teachings.

My final book is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. It's a marvelous book, not about Zen (and not so much about motorcycle maintenance either.) I can't say enough about it. Someday I will devote an entire blog, not just a blog entry, to it. My edition is underlined and highlighted and has tons of those post-it flags, and that is just from reading it through twice. That's the reason I can't leave it behind - all the work I've put into it -- But then the next time I read it will be like the first and I'll rediscover it all over anyway.

I could go on for a while explaining the books that I didn't pack, but as I said, I think I'll leave what got left behind for another entry. I should mention Phaedrus here. I mention Phaedrus because that is the name the narrator of Zen gives his old self. It is also the name I gave my betta fish. All my pets get literary names. Well, not the chickens. Chickens don't get named. I've had Phaedrus since August of 2020, making him the longest lived betta I've had. If you get a betta, don't put them in a tiny, tiny bowl. Yes, they can live in a puddle, but they aren't meant to. Also, get a heater. I have a good heater now to keep his tank at a nice temperature and he gets regular water changes with distilled water. I think this makes a difference. Anyway, enough of my soapbox about betta fish. Still, I guess I would have to leave Phaedrus behind. I am rather tempted to put him in a big ziplock bag and try and carry him onto a flight just to see if I can do it. Supposedly TSA will let you bring a liquid onboard so long as there is a living fish in it. Who knew? Still, I think he'd rather just battle it out in his little warm fish tank until hopefully I returned.

I have enough space here too to add that I also packed my Kindle Fire. It is a little superfluous I think packing the Paperwhite AND the Fire. The paperwhite is just way better for reading with. I like using the Fire when I get in the habit of using it. It is also kind of redundant with my phone though as well. I think if I didn't have access to a laptop, though, I would probably appreciate having the Fire with me. Anyway, it makes me want to get into the habit of using it more often.

Happiness and Community

I'm listening to The Art of Happiness in a Troubled World. It's the third in a series, which started with The Art of Happiness, a Handbook for Living, that a psychiatrist, Howard Cutler, has written along with the Dalai Lama. Confession: I had started the first book several years back, and when I checked this audio book out of the library, that was the one I thought I was getting. This book actually seems more appropriate for the current time, though, in the wake of the Vegas and Parkland shootings.

Obviously Cutler and HHDL (that's His Holiness the Dalai Lama to the unintiated) have a good rapport if they are working together on their third book together, and that rapport does come through. The Dalai Lama is a funny dude. When Cutler asks him the simple question of how do we get humans to better see the humanity in each other, HHDL suggests that if Martians invaded Earth we'd all ban together pretty quickly. "Okay, well apart from that..," continues Cutler.

Im only a short way into the book, but it seems that the main premise is an important one, and I wanted to share. The Dalai Lama suggests that a good deal of the trouble that occurs amongst humans today is because we have lost our sense of community. Tibetans are shocked when they hear that Westerners can live for years alongside neighbors that they do not know. Cutler admits that he doesn't know his neighbors, and I admit that I don't know mine at all. And it isn't just our immediate neighbors that we've lost touch with. We don't socialize in the ways we once did. Television and the internet has removed a lot of the personal interaction we once used to have. Church attendence is down. Socializing with coworkers has been eaten into by longer and longer commute times.  Many of us live in different cities or even states from where we grew up in numbers that are unprecedented. We've become a lonely society. The average number of intimate friends that Americans said they had has decreased from three ten or twenty years ago to two now. Twenty-five percent of us say that we have no real intimate friends at all.

That loneliness is literally killing us. Sometimes it's showing up at the door to the school armed with an AR-15. Sometimes it shows in a suicide rate that is the highest it has been in thirty years (Is it just coincidence that the three states with the lowest population densities, Alaska, Wyoming, and Montana, have the three highest suicide rates amongst U.S. states?) . More often it shows in heart disease and cancer rates in lonely people. One health study showed that lonely, disconnected people are four times more likely to catch a cold than someone who isn't.

I struggle with making human connections. It's a lack of self-confidence and really a bit of cowardice generally that keeps me in my little bubble. For years I tried to overcome that with alcohol. Finally I've come to the harsh truth that breaking down my reserve with alcohol doesn't work for me. I've been struggling again for about the past five months of feeling disconnected once again. So listneing to this book has come at a good time. It came as a revelation that what I really need is to connect within a community. It's almost absurd that it comes as a revelation to me, since Jen has been saying as much for at least the past half-dozen years, though not in the same words.

As I sat and thought last night, I realized I am part of a great many communities. I'm a Rockies fan and last night we had our season ticket draft. Sure we only meet once a year, but that has been for the last dozen or so years. In a broader sense I connect with other Rockies fans online and connect with sports fans generally. Sports fandom is a community that is overlooked as a meaningful one to many people. There is a community of people I work with here at Nordstrom and beyond in a general sense of technical people in the Denver area. I'm a member of Mensa and the Triple Nine Society, not that that in itself is meaningful, as we have much less in common amongst ourselves beyond a high IQ. But within those groups I identify with subgroups. It gives me a group to sound off about running or books or politics. In quitting drinking I attended a handful of AA meetings. That is a community, and an important one for some people. It can be very lonely when you quit drinking and for the past number of years the only new friends you made were people at the bar.

Being a part of those communities is not the same as being connected to them, however, just as living next to people doesn't make you connected to your neighbors. I'm working on that. Just identifying all the opportunities I really have was an unexpected step for me. Maybe I'll actually make a Mensa meeting in the next 6 months.

I didn't start this intending to write so much about myself. I meant it more to get people thinking more about community and what they can do to be more connected. For those of you who struggle with it like I do, keep trying. Do little things to reach out. Be brave. Don't let rejection deter you.Think of the communities you are a part of and what you can do to be connected within them. For those of you who don't struggle, reach out to those of us who do. We'll likely reject you using crucifixes and garlic as if you've walked out of a monster movie. Don't let rejection deter you either. Eventually we'll run out of garlic.