Google Analytics

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Empathy

In so much of what I've read from the Dalai Lama, he preaches time and time again that we must have empathy for our fellow humans. Empathy brings us closer to others, it leads to compassion, and, not to get all Buddhist on you but, helps to end suffering. In non-Buddhist terms, having empathy for other people makes us and them happier.

I need to be better about this in practice in so many areas in my life, but especially right now at work. I've certainly not hidden that I am irritated with my job and there are days I am flat-out angry. (Full disclosure, there have been more days recently when I've been able to put aside the irritants and focus on what I like about it, which is solving problems to help people vote.) When I get angry and irritated, however, I've been bad about putting my co-workers in the line of fire. Generally, it shows in passive-aggressive behavior by me, which I don't even realize I'm doing. There have been a handful of embarrassing moments when that aggressive behavior isn't so passive. Even a couple times where I was yelling full-voiced at a co-worker without even really realizing it.

My co-workers are definitely not the issue I have with work. I think that to a person the people I work with are all underpaid and underappreciated by "the powers that be" for what we do. We grouse about it, and sometimes I grouse louder than others, but it isn't like we are underpaid like our nation's teachers are underpaid. Maybe I just speak for myself, but I think it is the underappreciated part of the equation that is worse than the underpaid part.

With the people I work with both day-to-day and only occasionally what I've come to realize is that every one of us is trying our best. Okay, maybe we're not at our best every moment of every day because humans just can't be (except for Meryl Davis and Charlie White. I mean, am I right? They're like robots on the ice.). When I take a step back and acknowledge that everyone else around me is really working just the best they can as am I, how can I fault that? Programming voting machines and election software for U.S. elections is hard work. I mean, it's no putting a man on Mars hard or cracking Verizon wireless encryption so that the NSA can listen in on your phone calls hard, but it ain't easy, Sally. There are a lot of people that I work with that are very good at what they do and care about what they do, and I need to have more empathy for them and forget my own issues at times.

I was reminded of this tonight. At about 4:30 PM MST that call came in. You know the one: "I have a demonstration to the some of the largest counties in California tomorrow, and I can't get the software to work. Can I talk to a developer there?" Of course none of us really WANTED to take that call. I won't go into the specifics why other than to say it was 4:30PM already. However, I was in the same boat last month. I was supposed to do a demonstration to the State of Florida and the test project that I was given didn't work. One of my colleagues in Belgrade stepped up and worked, on Christmas (maybe the day after) I believe (since they celebrate Orthodox Christmas), to get me what I needed. I knew how stressed I was then, so volunteered to help with today's predicament.

Listen, I may have stepped up and volunteered, but I won't say that I did it cheerfully. There may have been some choice words thrown in. Putting myself in that guy's shoes though, I couldn't just walk away and say, Not my problem. When you have empathy for someone, that person's problems become your problems too. The good thing is that having two people to work on a problem is much better than one struggling through it themself. The issue turned out to be a series of relatively minor things, and we got things squared away. My colleague in California was grateful that he wasn't going to be tarred and feathered by the State of California, and I actually appreciated being able to re-familiarize myself with a couple parts of our system I hadn't used in a while.

No comments: